Squeak

A few weeks back, my darling wife hooked me onto a game. This may have been in return for me hooking her into various franchises (Left 4 Dead, Mass Effect, Alice), but nonetheless, I got drawn in, so to speak. The game is Draw My Thing on Facebook (also Draw Free and Draw Something on various other platforms).

Yes, I was not joking about making lame jokes.

Moving forward, the game was good old fashioned fun, like if Pictionary was played with computers and accompanied by the sound of silly giggles and random guesses, and the occassional "How the heck is THAT a tree??". Thus far, we've only had games with my sister in law, female cousin and female friend. Myself being a charming, cultured specimen of a man, what this means is that our games have lacked drawings of penises.

Then, while browsing around at work, I came across something that seemed revolutionary. It's called a finger mouse. Go Google it up if you haven't heard of it, and disregard that one link about a mouse shaped like a human finger. This is a mouse which straps onto your finger, allowing you to guide its course with finer control than moving your entire palm. Genius!

You strap it onto your pointy finger, grip the other side with your angry (middle) finger, and do clicks with your thumb. It looked like the perfect mouse for the game!

Ignoring this nagging feeling in the back of my head (How fine would the controls be? Can we calibrate the DPI? If it's so good, how come you don't see it around more often? Have they refilled the cookies in the cafeteria?), I went to get cookies in the cafeteria, came back to my computer, and placed an order for the mouse.

It arrived a couple of days later. I shoved it into the laptop with an evil laugh (girly giggle), looked at my wife, and proceeded to show her how a pro with the proper equipment draws a cat.

Once I was done, there seemed to be this silent understanding between me and Zurin. The kind of understanding that only comes after years of marriage and going through thick and thin together, sharing food, lame jokes, good and bad movies, and chocolate milk.

If ever the cat which I drew were somehow to make it into this plane of reality, it would be the beginning of the Endtimes. Fire would fall from the sky. Water would burst forth from fireplaces. Mountains would be made of tornadoes, and people would fart bricks. I had drawn Armageddon.

In any case, the mouse is crap, don't buy it.